A list has been created called FLIRT in our *FILES* section. :-)
Please read ALL of the information carefully. ***(See BELOW for the
listing of those who are participating.)*** 
To be added, send your request directly to 
me at Artseaone@aol.com and I will add your 
information to this list. The "FLIRT" file 
is sent out automatically once monthly to 
list. Do not copy this text file or forward 
to the list. All information is subject to 
removal if a person is acting in an unruly, 
unseemly manner within the group.*** If you 
would like to have your info removed from 
this File, please send an email to 
Artseaone@aol.com. Now go have some fun!~

FLIRT!!

F....FUN...have fun and enjoy each others
wit, interests and company. 

L....LOVING...this refers to a caring, warm
enriching experiencing between two people.

I....Interaction....relating through email, 
or in person.

R....Romance...OK, some of us don't have a 
clue about romantic things...but one can learn.
:o) Also, "R" is for RESPECT!

T....TOGETHER...don't get the wrong impression,
this doesn't mean sexual advancements, or for 
a life time. But with the expressed interest
of spending time together because this person
has given you a level of comfort, safety
and trust you can depend on.

Who: Avoidant Singles

Where: At the Avoidant@yahoogroups.com in the *FILES* section.

How: Develop connection through posting
and private emails. Use our chat room.

**SEND me your email address
and State you live in to Artseaone@aol.com
...and I will add them to THIS list..along with age 
and a brief description of yourself/likes
and interests.**

What is this all about:

For those single Avoidants who want to come closer
to making a connection with another single Avoidant.

What this is NOT about:

This is not for married Avoidants. This is not
a matchmaking attempt. This is not to encourage singles
to get married or to force on or offline
relationships. This is not to make any
delineation between married or single avoidants.

Do not feel like you must participate
just because you are single.
There are plenty of very happy-to-be-single
Avoidants on this list.
In fact, a good portion of Avoidants
tend to prefer the solitary life and by
choice are single.

Suggestion: If you are shy about participating but would
like to, in the future as this *FLIRT* list
grows, you can simply look at the email
addresses and write the person privately
without adding your own email address.
A suggestion would be to watch how a person
acts on the list and see if you might have an
interest in getting to know them more personally,
like through private email.
But in order for a list like *FLIRT* to grow, people
would have to be willing to take a chance, add their
email address and give getting to know each other a whirl!

Suggestions/precaution: Very vulnerable
subject for Avoidants. By our nature most of us
fear rejection, intimacy, control etc. For many
the idea of getting to know someone,
much less through an internet list,
is very uncomfortable. 
Keep an open mind and be honest. You might
get a feeling for someone after a few emails
and decide that person isn't for you. Give 
things a chance...email relationships take
longer cultivate.
This is what it's about...you can't know
unless you risk. You have to be prepared
that courting or flirting may not lead
to anything but just that. Keep it light
and fun until you both sense it might 
be going beyond friendship...then open it
up! 

Warning: If any members become involved in email
or offline relationships...you are doing so at
your own risk. So be careful and take it slow.
Safety is number one in my book...any Avoidant
who says they want to meet *next week,* is to be
seriously questioned. DO NOT give out last names
personal home addresses or phone numbers!

If as a result, you feel a person is intentionally
harrassing you for whatever reason...please email
me or Cher privately and let us know. We can't
assume anything...but can warn the person and
lend support. Also, Yahoogroups can be notified.

Remember...emotionally, Avoidants
are fragile people. Bear in mind that 
you both share a list you belong to. If 
pushing beyond friendship might ultimately
inhibit your posting here, you must take a look 
at how you may be affected by that.

NEVER: Share with another person what 
someone has shared with you privately.
Do not *FLIRT* publically or make
inferences to any ongoing relationship
that may have developed between you
and another member. PRIVACY and CONFIDENTIALITY
is tantamount.

The whole idea of FLIRTING, courting,
and the process and stages of Interaction
based on mutual chemistry and attraction, is 
most likely a foreign concept to many an Avoidant.
The sole purpose of this list is to allow those
who would like to make the attempt, more access to
others who are hoping to make a relationship 
connection.

(This list will be modified from time to time depending
on need and use. Also, a private page (not yahoo)
for this very purpose will be in the works).

Scarlette
Owner/moderator

*************************************************

Samantha: lives in Texas and her email address is rosette55@webtv.net

********************************************************************************
Miranda: notcowed@yahoo.com 
age: turning 28

likes: stray dogs, Six Feet Under, working with my hands on home 
projects, escapist fantasies, Steve Martin, other people's accents, 
Hugh Grant movies, long letters, the smell of lemon detergent, The 
Lover by Marguerite Duras, an amusement park-sized burger about once 
a month, flipping though photo magazines, cooking experiments, and an 
ironic sense of humor

wants: to go to graduate school, the war in Iraq to end, to learn to 
ski someday, to move to Australia.

********************************************************************************
Hi,

Jon <alled4201@yahoo.com>

I turned 38 last January and I'm single w/no children. It's very 
difficult for me to meet women and relate on an intimate level. It 
takes an enormous effort for me to go on dates or even find the 
honesty it takes to admit to someone about my avoidant style. My 
hope is to find someone that understands and has patience. I am 
improving myself through diet, exercise, self-awareness, self-love, 
love for others (unconditional), emotional-acknowledgement, and 
emotional-expression. Generally, I feel very fortunate about my 
accomplishments with my career and home, but I didn't get a ticket on 
the love boat (my jab at humor). Typically, I'm an upbeat, positive 
person that is trying to make an effort to rid myself of shyness and 
anxiety over relationships. 

Likes: Animals/pets, architecture, interior design, landscaping.

Wants: Less anxiety associated with relationships. A healthy, 
loving relationship. Shared love between two people.

*******************************************************************************
Ali: -Miami Florida...<alikat305@aol.com> 

********************************************************************************Terry Snyders <tesnyders@yahoo.com> 
HI THERE,
I'M SOUTH AFRICAN GUY living in the UK. I'd like to
meet women with APD in this country with a view to
friendship and maybe more. Please let me know if there
is any way to make contact.
Thank you.
******************************************************************************

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