Avoidant Personality Disorder


Join the discussion groups

Medical Description
Person 1
Person 2
Person 3
Message Boards
Crisis Intervention
Tell us about yourself! What do you do for a living?
What would you like to do for a living?? 
Some of us are employed and some of us are not.
How does FEAR impede you or your potential?
Does it make you avoid occupational environments?
Does it make you stay in the same job?
Is performance anxiety make things really
difficult for you??
IN a nutshell, tell us about it and don't
forget to say what you dream about doing or becoming.
Is this in any way a vulnerable topic for you?
It is for me!!
Scarlette: Domestic Engineer, wannabe world traveler, writer, artist and 
grass roots HUMAN services person. 
Keep sending us your dream job description or what you do for a
living right now! We will continue adding your commentaries to this file.  :o)

"I want to be a singer and a writer. 
Since I can't do either for lack of talant,
I do have leanings toward working with retarded,
children and adults because of their sweet, 
innocent natures.
I also love the quiet of bookstores and Libraries. 
What impedes..
Fears of failure, a need to see my children raised
without a latchkey, and desire to keep my marriage
I have been a homemaker all my life, since age 16.
(Yup! I was independant then! But not so smart..)"

"I deliver for a living. I have to deal with people all day long except 
when driving. I really do not like having to extovert that much. I 
find it very draining. My avocation is art. I would rather do art. I 
have sold my art at different local places and having to promote my 
art is just not something I care to do nor am I the least bit good at 
it. I tend to be more object oriented. I also tend to be a fairly good 
I like working behind the curtains so to speak.
I deliver for a living because that is what I can do. I could not work 
for extended periods of time around others."

"I really like to sing and I really like to read. I think it would be cool to read books on tape--the audio books, you know? I would also like to do radio 
commercials---especially the kind where I could get the chance to act all 
obnoxious. I know that's weird, but I don't act obnoxious in general and so 
many people do that sometimes I just want to get it out and act like a pain 
in the ass---like Buddy the carpet guy? Ok, I'm being pretty strange, I 
guess. It's late here...."

"I am a Residential Support Worker in a group home for people with 
intellectual disabilities.
This is what I want to continue doing for the rest of whatever.
I'm afraid that what I do is not enough, even though I have given 
100% to it. (my head tells me 1000% will not be enough, my heart 
breaks to hear it) (sorry, its kind of a touchy subject)
And I'm afraid I won't find the inner strength to deal with all the 
issues this work entails.
My fear of people's judgement/criticism impede's my potential (in 
relation to my advancement in classification)(my life in a nutshell)
I dream of becoming the very best "me" I can be. 
(and I dream of one day opening up a free holiday ranch for people 
with I.D.'s)(well, it is a dream, but if I were to somehow obtain 
scads of money, thats what I would do with it).
Is this a vulnerable topic? You have no idea how much...."

"I don't know what I want to do for a living. It's a bit distressing to think 
about. I'm interested in nutrition and physical therapy, but I don't want to 
take all the biology and chemistry classes. Labs kill my soul. I'm also drawn 
to law...paralegal or court reporting. I like to do research, especially 
related to psychology or sociology, but I don't know who hires "researchers". 
Having access to information is nice... I considered being a librarian in 
high school, but there's not many openings. 
Fear rules everything :) At this point, I don't really care about doing 
nothing. Baby steps."

"I am a cataloging librarian. I was in public service
for over 10 years but was asked to agree to move to
cataloging because I was not friendly enough and a
patron complained that I did not smile at him. (No
lie!!) I have done very well in the cataloging area,
and you would think that we would be evaluated based
on our technical skills and not personality, but
that’s not totally the case. Over half the evaluation
form is still things like cooperation, speaks
positively about change, deals effectively with
co-workers, etc. 
I guess what I want to know is, isn’t there anyplace
left on earth for quiet and withdrawn people? Why
should I have to speak in a certain way or deal with
others, when my work is totally about getting the
materials out? 
I would not advise a library career for avoidant
people. The trend these days is towards the bookstore
model, with circulation statistics and lots of PR
being much more important than being able to find the
information people need. And it is very high-pressure
and understaffed, at least where I am.
I do not even consider myself “seriously” avoidant --
while I have always lived alone, I participate in a
lot of music activities, including performances and
running rehearsals. I am just not a super “up” or
energetic person, and it seems that is more important
than talent or character any more."

"Anyplace left on earth for quiet and withdrawn people? A monastery, maybe? :) 
Actually I think that's a good question even if it was rhetorical. Our 
culture values outgoing extroverted people, doing over being. I wonder if 
there is a corner of the world that values people more like us.

Good to know, about library careers... as I mentioned, I've considered it 

"I have worked a bank for 7 years. I want to leave but I dread being the "new
person" at a job. I know everyone goes through it but that doesn't make it
easier. Before that I worked in a law firm for 4 and a half years. Interesting
job, lousy pay. Before that was a series of part-time jobs - worked in a
museum, worked in an animal laboratory (no, I didn't experiment on animals),
worked as a security guard (night shift), worked in various cafeterias bussing
tables, dishing out food, cleaning plates, worked in a library, in a bakery, in
a hospital, in a school. I was restless, that's why so many different jobs.
They all paid low so it really didn't matter if I quit. There are plenty of
minimum wage jobs to go around.
>>(What would you like to do for a living??)
Not clear on that one. Something to do with traveling and seeing new places. I
may be avoidant but I would like to be able to associate with people. Just not
a whole lot of new ones at once.
>>(how does FEAR impede you or your potential?)
I end up staying in jobs too long. Or not trying for jobs that I like because I
think I won't be able to cope. Fear of change. It's why I never got a job in my
major in college after I graduated. I would have had to change cities.
>Does it make you avoid occupational environments?>Does it make you stay in the
same job?
Yes, to both questions."

"I'm glad to hear this as well, dojibo. I've been studying "Library 
and Documentary Information", but decided to quit in my second year. 
I'm glad now if you imagine that an important reason why I chose to 
do this study for me was because it seemed relatively 'safe'!
I agree there's too much emphasis on personality aspects even when it 
is of less or virtually no importance in your job. It seems like a 
trend or a hype (EQ suddenly becoming more important than IQ etc.) 
and that the child is thrown out with the bathwater. Hope this 
will 'even out' soon."

"What do I do for a living? I am a 46 year old full time college student. For 20
years I was a technician at a nuclear power station. The first ten years were
fantastic because I was in the operations department which is a totally techy
loner type job perfect for an APDer like me. When my turn came to work in the
control room as a reactor operator I switched departments because that job
requires dealing with people big time. My last ten years were spent in the
radiation protection department. This job is a people job to the exreme degree
and it caused me tremendous stress at first. It didn't take my supervisors long
to realise what they were dealing with. They accomodated me. They assigned me
the high techy, loner type jobs and kept me away from the people jobs as much
as possible, though this wasn't always possible. Working in a nukey became very
stressful for me around 1996. That combined with divorce and custody
battles...well I crashed and burned big time in 1996. My first time in the
hospital with clinical depression. That's when I was diagnosed with APD.
Anyway, between 1996 - 1998 and three stays in the hospital...the company
offered me an early retirement package including pension and benefits which I
GLADLY accepted. So I retired at the age of 42 and here I am, back in college
trying to start a new career. It has taken a lot of hard work on my part
undoing the damage to my psyche caused during those horrible years of 1995 -
1998. I refuse to roll over and play dead. You can do anything you want to if
you want it bad enough and are willing to work your butt off to get it."

"I'm a truck driver. Part time, ever since I got
married two years ago. Truck driving has always been
an ideal job for me. I went to college, tried the
tech support field, found it too scary, and went back
to truck driving. I love it. I don't have to talk to
many people. I'm a young looking girl, so I'm fairly
unique in the field. People really don't expect a lot
from a girl truck driver, so they're always surprised
and pleased when they found out I can handle a rig as
well as any grizzled old man. :) It's one of my few
triumphs. Right now I'm working part time for what's
called a "driveaway" company. We moved regular semi
trucks (few trailers), garbage trucks, dump trucks,
cement mixers, etc, from manufacturer to customer, or
from dealer to customer. It's great fun. I never
know where I'm going. I see a lot of the country. We
fly a lot (which I've always loved) to get to the
trucks. And I get to drive all days long, just
listening to my headphones and not dealing with
people, sitting way up high above everyone else.
My dream job? Lottery winner." :)



This website has been a work-in-progress since 1998 - All Rights Reserved © 2010