Featured books

Distancing: Avoidant Personality Disorder

Disorders of Personality: DSM and Beyond, 2nd edition

Dialectical Behavior Therapy in Clinical Practice

Mindfulness and Acceptance

Transforming Anxiety, Transcending Shame

A Guide to Rational Living

Party of One

The Highly Sensitive Person

The Introvert Advantage

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Name:      missannthrope
State:       USA

Story:

I read so much that is familiar in each story here. I am 62 and feel as though I have been swimming upstream for my entire life, and now I'm just TIRED. My background is the classic bullying-at-school/verbal-abuse-at-home type of thing, and I was an only child, so I learned how to entertain myself pretty early in life. I'm on 4 medications and in therapy. I have had 7 years' psychoanalysis and 4 years of group therapy, which was the one thing that helped me the most, as I found out for the first time that other people are just as scared as I am. I find that I can be very outgoing as long as the context is one that I'm familiar with. I manage to work and deal with people on phones all day, and I even laugh and enjoy it, but only because I'm sure of what to say and do. Put me in a room with those same people and you'll see me leaving if there's a door I can sneak out of. I can make small talk with a grocery store clerk, but not with someone standing next to me at a social event.

One person mentioned that all he wanted was to never leave the house, to be left in peace, and I feel that way as well. I'm tired of fighting this battle. Now I leave the house only when I have to, always use the same routes, become frightened when the phone rings, and drag my spouse away from parties early. Surprisingly, I have two close friends. I tried to avoid being friends with them, but they kind of pushed their way into my life regardless. That's very lucky for an avoidant because I would have no friends if it wasn't for the persistence of those two. I still wonder what was so special about me.

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