Featured books

Distancing: Avoidant Personality Disorder

Disorders of Personality: DSM and Beyond, 2nd edition

Dialectical Behavior Therapy in Clinical Practice

Mindfulness and Acceptance

Transforming Anxiety, Transcending Shame

A Guide to Rational Living

Party of One

The Highly Sensitive Person

The Introvert Advantage

Enter the Library

If you would like to publish your story or experiences about being an avoidant person suffering with social anxieties, Click here.

** Click Here to Read More Personal Stories **

Name:      Julie
State:       Washington

Story:

I'm a 51 y.o. woman trying to find others like me.  I think APD may come close and would like to tell my story and see if anyone identifies.  The basic theme of my life so far is "isolation."  I sometimes feel like I am surrounded by an impenetrable dark cold space with absolutely nothing in it.  I feel no sense of connection to others most of the time except anxiety that they will perceive that I am "different" and attack me socially.  Occasionally I see a homeless person or other unfortunate and then I feel tremendous empathy and a desire to help.  I have in fact worked with the mentally ill from time to time.  I think I was hoping to follow that trace of empathy, that little trail of feeling and find a way to connect with the world.  Unfortunately the trail usually leads back to the dark cold space. 
I have a coping mechanism that I learned as a child.  I read and watch television in order to vicariously experience the connection that I long for: people that are part of a family, part of a community. 
I have made attempts to break out of my isolation: Prozac, marriage, and spiritual seeking; but in the end I usually feel bored and disillusioned with the real world and run back to my fictional world which is so much better. 
Unfortunately as I grow older my isolation is getting harder to live with and I believe that it will become increasingly difficult to maintain a facade of "normality" with others.  As decades of isolation begin to take their toll, I realize that if I don't find some way to accept the real world and make an honest connection to it, life is going to go downhill in a big way. 
So I theorize that there must be others like myself.  The closest I have come to finding a personality disorder that describes my personality is APD.  Maybe if I find others like myself, I will be able to enjoy the experience of being with like-minded people who actually understand me.  Thanks for listening.

Next Story

** Click Here to Read More Personal Stories **

This website has been a work-in-progress since 1998 - All Rights Reserved © 2010